Friday 17 November 2006

The beginning

So... I have given the devil my little finger and am about to start to blog. Christ.
Oh, with a religious tone too. Probably not entirely by accident.

It seems natural to me to start with setting some general attributes for this blog (mainly for myself)
and explaining my choices concerning - well - a lot of things about this blog.

It's 5 am so this first post will certainly not be brilliant.

My goal is to not make this a diary. But I am not sure how I can be able to not process relationship issues (and such) here since that is what so much occupies my mind right now.
It would be nice to fill this space in the web by brilliant philosophical, scientific etc. thoughts only, but I'm afraid it will be more of use to me as a tool - to sort my thoughts on those matters that most distract me... So I kinda need a place to dump everything UNimportant! So that I can consentrate on the IMportant in my actual actions in life (Not that such things as relationships wouldn't be important, but there's a lot of crap taht comes up that is best sorted before acting out on them).
I wonder if I could make two sections here? One that is more like pseudopublic therapy that no-one needs to read, and another one filled with that brilliant insight I'm deluted enough to think I have in me ;)
See - one reason for doing this is that I have become too lazy to write a traditional diary.
But,
I don't see reason in writing on the web unless I want people to read my writings. So basicly I should keep this "userfriendly" enough for me to give my friends and loved ones the access to my thoughts. That'd be userfriendly mostly for me actually... (emotional opinions about people and stuff made public when thoughts and feelings not prosessed yet = misunderstandings + angry/hurt/etc people)
Oh, I can't decide...

Ok, for the other choices then.
I have for long loved the frase "veritas lux mea". This means "totuus valaisee minut/minua" in finnish, in english usually translated "the truth enlightens me / The truth is my light". It is so grandiose that I hesitated, and since I have become a lot less "hard core" regarding The Truth (I used to see myself as a vassal for Truth (personified) - I hadn't chosen it but it had chosen me (with no particular illusions of grandeur, mind you!). I think I have now become more the master of my own truth).
But maybe in a way the name of the blog gives a good aim? Besides I added the answer of what I think that truth is beneath it (although my latin is so poor that the grammar might be absolute crap).
Why english? Why latin? Why not?
..Well english for more general access I guess, I didn't really even give it a thought. So it's bad latin and bad english then, maybe some finnish here and there. The latin parts are pretty much because of a coincidence - that just happened to interest me this night. It might as well been quenya or something...

"Animosa" I feel might be a good way to describe (one side of) my personality; atleast in this context, or how I prefer to view myself. (Even as the word "animosity", I guess, does derive from this latin word). I'll leave it untranslated for now.
"Amorifer" appealed to me simply because of the word's similarity to the word "Lucifer". And the fact that the word stands for totally opposite things than what Lucifer usually represents to people (So it has a lot to do with my recently incresed dislike towards satanists/satanism ...And of organized religions in general).

Themes of love and hate - That could be one way to see it.
But I think I'm going for the finer nuances.


I'll end this very silly first rambling to the one last explanation:

Animus = mind, intellect, soul, feelings, heart, spirit, courage, character, pride, air

This word truly strucks a cord in me.
(they are/) It is essentially me -
and what I hold important to me and also to my (or anyones) growth as a being.
. . .

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